Saturday, January 30, 2010


"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your way acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3: 5-6

Growing up you have all these plans for life. You want to travel have some great career and be larger then the small town you call home. That was me. I had set my mind to never getting married or having kids and well you know what they say about plans we make.... I would never thought that on the verge of 40 in 2010 I would be THRILLED to be a married mother of 4. It totally blows my mind but I have never been happier. The price of having 4 incredible kids some times is not one that you pay yourself, but one you have to watch them go through with your hands tied behind your back. 10 years ago this happened with my oldest Morgan when on December 8th she was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. This one is a moment in time that stood still for me and changed me forever. Well one of those days 10 years later has come up again. My incredible little Red Head was just this week diagnosed with PDD(Autism). It looks like the final classification will be under Asperger's Syndrome, but they want to do way more before that specification is made for education reasons. I have known we where going in this direction since the fall. It has been totally eating me up knowing that possibly things in his life could be different for who knows what reason. And as my kids call me "MAMA BEAR" it is hard to stand by and watch this all unfold.

So, What is next? Well, I educate myself on everything we can do to get him into a place in life that is good and fulfilled. We stay strong and help each other when things are not so great with him and never give up. Someone said to me this week..."when are you ever going to get a break, you have been through so much?" I can't think that way. Sure I had to cry for a day or two and pull out that bottle of Vodka for a good shoot of Polish warmth. But I know that I can do this. I know that this incredible cute, loving and so sweet little boy needs me and my family. When people say you come from strong stock they mean it about this group. I have the most incredible "strong like bull" parents. I grew up having wonderful grand parents and great grand parents that showed me that LOVE and FAMILY can conquer all. I grew up with a grand mother that made me feel like I was the most important person in the world. I was one of her girls and and her strength and love follows me everyday even on the hard ones. And yes I have the best sister ever, so what more could a girl ask for? Being a parent isn't a right, it is a job that is nothing short of mind blowing but should be taken so seriously. With all of the history I have behind me to make these hard days easier well, it all has to start somewhere. We all have to have something we look to in our time of sorrow and need. And for me, just knowing that I come from these incredible parents and family is what will get me to my next path every time!


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